We are not all John Wayne

todayJanuary 23, 2023 26 2

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This morning was another early start but if you are a sports parent early weekends are not outside of the weekend norm. On our way I asked my child what type of music they wanted on the radio. It’s a normal question for sporting event trips. I’ve always tried to teach my kids to use music to ramp up their energy and get in a game mindset.

Normally, when driving with my oldest the music ranges in a wide variety of styles but is filled with loud beats and lots of bass. This day I wasn’t traveling with my oldest but my youngest and the music style requested was not with in a norm that I acquaint to pumping yourself up. I put it on after trying to sway them with some big beats and motivating lyrics to no avail.

This left me in deep thought about self-motivating. I was thinking about mental toughness and how individuals ramp themselves up. For me in another chapter of my life I had my “fight” songs and I can guarantee they were not found on the station I was currently listening to. I thought about mental focus and then mental toughness.  As my high beams weaved over the darkness of morning I found myself wondering how would I ever teach this child mental toughness and give them an edge. Grit.

Then I heard it and it left me in a mass of tears. I was thankful the darkness concealed the shame of my ego and the perceived weakness I saw. God, Source, Spirit, whoever’s name you call them by asked “By what do you define mental grit? Has this child not fought emotional and physical challenges head on without shame? Has this child not spoken with integrity and conviction to establish boundaries? Has this child not sought help for things you have yet to speak of?”

Fuck! There it was. Fight and flight were defined in such simple terms. Is mental toughness not facing that which weighs you down, that which makes you feel less than what you should? One having mental toughness is not found in their ritual for self-hype but in their advocation of self – the music, well it just doesn’t matter.  In that moment I realized my child had surpassed me in wisdom and I realized it was ego who had once again shown up with its damming limits and false beliefs.

In those dark moments where my headlights were the only light on the road so were they the light to my understanding, grace, and judgmental mindset where I thought I was failing my child.

I hope you equally understand we are not all John Wayne with brazen bravado. Some come in quietly and fight ferociously. It is in these moments that we must meet ourselves only where we are and others where they are at. Grit. Mental toughness. Fight or flight. It all comes in unboxed versions for those facing it. Understand that to be a clear support to others we must leave our perceptions and seek only to understand the perspective of the other and not mandate they meet our standard of what it means to be a fighter.

Thank you for taking time to read this blog. I am here, sending you inspiration, insight, and strength for what lies ahead in your own self-discovery and connection with Spirit. I hope somewhere between the lines of what I share and do not fully say that you find inspiration and revelations about yourself and your own journey. Please, if so, inspired leave a comment. Your feedback will help me better generate topics suited to you, the reader.

Written by: Steph

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